Are You Married, or Just Roommates? | Stronger with Andy Wood

Speaker: Not provided

Shared by Saddleback Church
Saddleback Church

Summary

Main message: Marriage is a covenant designed by God for one man and one woman to "leave, cleave, and become one flesh," and keeping that covenant healthy requires clear definition, continual intentionality, honest communication, and spiritual vigilance.

Key points:

  • Define marriage biblically (Genesis 2:24; reiterated in Matthew 19 and Ephesians 5): covenantal, exclusive, man-and-woman union.
  • Avoid the "roommate" drift by being intentional: shared calendars, weekly planning/checkpoints, and consistent date nights or date days.
  • Use periodic getaways and focused conversations to maintain closeness; make those times intentional about marriage, not just relaxation.
  • Deal with problems early — "keep things current," surface issues before they explode, pull away for concentrated work when needed, and form agreements to prevent repeat conflicts (use tools like the "four-helpful list": what's right, wrong, confusing, missing).
  • Sexual intimacy is a God-given gift and both a source and symptom of marital health; talk openly, learn, be kind consistently, avoid manipulation (withholding or coercion), and address baggage with honesty and resources.
  • Men are urged to pursue God, engage in accountable relationships ("band of brothers"), mortify secret sins (e.g., pornography), and lead with loving correction and spiritual modeling.

Scriptures mentioned: Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19, Ephesians 5